The other night I went out to see the redux of the classic movie Clash of the Titans. I’m typically leery of remakes of movies that I loved growing up (Transformers I’m looking at you) but I wanted to see if the new version of the movie lived up to the classic. Was I ever shocked…
I feel that some history is necessary to build up to my review of the new version. When I was a kid spending my summers in Arizona, there wasn’t a whole lot to do during the day except watch this amazing creation called “cable TV”. My grandfather had HBO at his house, which is where I spent many of my days during the summer. I remember one summer sitting down and watching the movie “Clash of the Titans” on HBO. I was amazed. I loved the movie so much that for my birthday that year I wanted the action figures associated with the movie (I actually did get Pegasus). The movie was an epic tale containing the heros of mythology. The driving force of the movie was for Perseus to rescue Andromeda from her death sentence at the hands of the sea creature the Kraken, which was one of the coolest action figures of the set with his 4 arms. He went through amazing adventures to get to the point of being able to defeat the terrible sea creature.
Now to the new version of the movie. I’m going to avoid spoilers here as much as possible in case you haven’t seen it yet (consider yourself blessed). I went to see this movie at the $1 theater and feel like I overpaid to see it. While walking out, I had the same feeling that I had after seeing the movie “Congo” back in the 90s.
Back to the remake of “Clash of the Titans”. This movie suffered from the Crichton Effect but with a little different flavor. I enjoyed the original movie so much that the new movie paled in comparison. If you take the movie by itself, forgetting the original (if possible), I would still have trouble finding many redeeming qualities. They spent way too long on the story of Perseus’ upbringing and they changed the core personality of Perseus. In the original movie, Perseus was out to rescue the woman that he loved, Andromeda. In the new movie, Perseus is fueled by hatred of the gods and Andromeda is a speed-bump to getting facetime with the gods to confront them. The writers worked really hard to paint Perseus as a prideful, vindictive person instead of the passionate hero that the original painted him to be.
When my sons asked me afterward if I liked the movie I told them that it was bad. They are used to me using that adjective to mean that it had content that they were not allowed to see. I had to tell them that, in this case, that the movie was just not good. I want my boys growing up seeing the original version and never knowing that this new one exists. I’d rather them see Perseus overcoming adversity for love instead of out of vengeance.
In summary, I wouldn’t classify this as the worst movie I’ve ever seen (an honor still reserved for “Showgirls”) but it is somewhere near the top of the list of movies I don’t like.